What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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