Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
