Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I love having hate sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
