Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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