We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
