Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
