too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
