Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
