just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
