her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
