Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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