some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
