I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize