I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
