Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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