Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
