Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
