You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
