That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
