I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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