Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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