Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
