He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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