Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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