Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
