Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
