I think my vagina is haunted
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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