you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
