just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
