she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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