im so drunk with asians
where?
always
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
