So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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