I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
