Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
handjob tips. give me some.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
