He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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