maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
