can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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