Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
