I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She is in my trunk
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
