in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
