Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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