If that was your dad, he is hot
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
