$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize