i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
