WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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