The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
