He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think a kid would responsible me up
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
