How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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