weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize