"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize