I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
