Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair

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(518): View more from New York

i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.

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(713): View more from Texas

well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there

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(205): View more from Alabama

Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia

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(604): View more from British Columbia

You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..

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(316): View more from Kansas

I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage

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