Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Buhtt sex?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
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