and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
