from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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