I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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