I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
