That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
