We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
