Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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