so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
