Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
