My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
