Your mouth is God's brothel.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
